Striving Towards the Impossible
by DixonVixen93
Summary: Post Serenity AU: Book and Wash survived. When Kaylee feels she is needed, she'll go beyond those lengths and bring everyone else along for the ride. River/Jayne Main pairing  Following: Kaylee/Simon Inara/Mal Zoe/Wash *First Firefly Fic!*


**Hello there fellow readers! This is my first ever Firefly fan fiction but I hope to not disappoint. The pairings I hope to include will be, Kaylee/Simon, Mal/Inara, Zoë/Wash, and River/Jayne. This will be post Serenity but Wash and Book lived. **

**I do not own Firefly or any of the crew, all of it belongs to Joss.**

**PS: There's an Angel reference in this story, if you've seen the show, I know you'll catch it. **

Kaylee Frye looked around at her fellow crew mates as another day went by aboard Serenity.

Inara and Mal sat at the crew's shared table, playfully arguing, as always, Inara was winning.

Wash sat at the table as well with his wife by his side as they talked to their newborn baby girl, Jasmine.

Simon was being well, Simon, as he read a book sitting next to Kaylee.

And, Book was holding a conversation with Jayne as he cleaned Vera.

As the mechanic took another look around the room, she couldn't find River. She couldn't have just up and left to her room like that, could she? Kaylee knew River was a bit on the different side but she'd been gettin' better hadn't she? Kaylee had done just about enough guessing, the brunette rose from her spot next to Simon to look for her.

She walked through the ship until she came upon River's room.

"Riv?" Kaylee called with a gentle knock.

"Enter if she may like." River called back.

The older brunette entered the room to see River laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling with a finger up in the air moving it in a swift motion.

"What're ya doing?" Kaylee asked sitting down next to her sister-in-law.

"Measuring the lines of the walls and comparing the density of them to those on the ceiling." River stated matter-of-factly.

"Hmm, sounds, well, kind of boring." Kaylee paused seeing River give her a look; "But I mean what're you doin' in here when everyone else is out there?"

River sat up and wrapped her skinny arms around her knees and stared at Kaylee; "She doesn't feel welcome out there. Here is nice. Alone, alone with oblivion."

Kaylee blinked a couple of times before speaking; "Who 'aint makin' you feel welcome? Capt'n 'aint say ya had to stay up here all day did he?"

River shook her head sideways; "No."

Kaylee looked confused; "Then who is it?" she asked.

"Those in the 'verse see her as a bomb. Waiting for the day she finally trips for good and withers away." River said cryptically, her voice trailing off with every word she said.

"River, ya don't need to wait out here jus' cause of the baby! Zoë is nervous bout everyone bein' near her, not just you." Kaylee said, finally piecing things together.

The younger brunette smiled a little but the cheerful mechanic could tell that this wasn't the only thing buggin' her.

"C'mon, tell me what's really on your mind. Are ya feelin' ok? Do ya need me to get Simon cause I-" Kaylee started

"No! He wouldn't understand! No need to no need too…" River trailed off bending her head down to rest on her propped knees.

"Oh-alright- no Simon then." Kaylee said suspiciously.

River hadn't said a word and Kaylee didn't know what to do in a situation like this.

Finally, after almost five minutes of awkward silence, River finally spoke; "Kaylee?"

"Yeah River?" Kaylee asked curiously.

"She wishes to go back to the walls. They talk to her sometimes." River said with a sad smile tugging at her features.

Kaylee rose from her friend's bed and beamed her a happy smile; "Whatever you want to do Riv."

"She thanks you." River said returning a much more genuine smile.

"Anytime!" Kaylee grinned back before leaving to go back to the others.

As soon as River heard the door shut on her way out, she felt her whole small frame shake as her emotions totally took control of her body. She hugged her knees while her body rocked with uncontrollable sobs.

A few months after the trip to Miranda, River became more and more curious with none other than Jayne Cobb. At first, Jayne being Jayne, he yelled at her, calling her rude names like he used to, it hurt River, but that didn't stop her, only made her more curious. By the time another couple of weeks went by, Jayne about had enough, he demanded to know what was going on with her:

"_The last thing Jayne ruttin' Cobb is, is a gorram fool. Now where is that Moonbrain?" Jayne had hissed to himself searching for River. He knew she'd be around, she was always hanging like a ruttin' monkey, watching him, saying it was all apart of _her_ game. _

_When he found her, she was waiting by the bench press. _

"_What does he think of her new game plan? The element of surprise is key in these new events." River said getting up to watch Jayne's dumbfounded look._

"_What the hell kinda game plan are ya talking bout now Moonbrain?" Jayne asked._

_River smiled slyly; "If she told you.. It wouldn't be a surprise game plan."_

_Jayne had to admit, she looked mighty cute trying to be hard to get. Something he'd never admit to the crew was that he always had a soft spot for the crazy. He'd normally never be so indirect towards a woman but something about _jailbait_ rang in his ears every time he got any less than homely thoughts about her._

_When he walked up closer to her, River ran away and waited for her next tactical move. _

_The next day, River didn't play games, her experimentation was complete and she finally knew what she wanted, and that was Jayne. Once she made the first move, it didn't take Jayne long to take a hint._

_Their relationship stayed a secret for the most part but for apparent reasons, this bothered River. She wanted everyone to know how happy she became with Jayne. The genius knew that no one would approve, but she was happy so that should be enough for Simon. _

Up until recently, River was able to keep happy with their secret relationship with Jayne's help. Even with Jayne anchoring her sanity, it still wasn't enough to keep her grounded. She wanted everyone to know how happy he made her and she couldn't understand why he didn't want to tell everyone.

With River being River, she assumed that it meant Jayne was humiliated to be falling in love with a crazy girl.

*Firefly* *Firefly*

As soon as Kaylee got back in the room, Jayne noticed she had came from the way to go to River's room.

"Where ya been Kaylee?" He asked enthusiastically.

"Jus' went to see how River was doin'." Kaylee said.

Jayne knew how this secretive stuff made his girl feel, but he kept telling her that the world wasn't ready for Jayne and River; "How was-" he cut himself off; "How come you visitin' the Moonbrain all a sudden?"

Kaylee smelt something fishy brewing in the 'verse; "Hey Nara! Come 'ere a sec!" she called to her friend.

Inara came to her friend's beckoning call and saw Jayne getting jumpier by the minute.

"Nara, I need to talk with you over here." Kaylee nudged to an empty space of the room.

Both girls walked over to the empty space, leaving Jayne even more nervous.

"What's going on Kaylee?" Inara asked

"Somethin's up with River and Jayne, that's what's goin' on." Kaylee spoke in a whisper.

"I'm not following." Inara said.

"Jayne slipped up askin' me how River was doin' and tried to blow it off." Kaylee informed.

"And River? What about her?" Inara asked

"She was up in her room lookin' hecka sad" Kaylee said

"So if we place two and two together-" Inara started

"There's obviously somethin' going on between the two and we didn't realize it earlier." Kaylee finished.

"So what are you thinking? I know you of all people have to have a plan." Inara paused a moment; "If River is hurt by her and Jayne's secret relationship, we've got to get them patched up." Inara said

"You really think they got somethin' between 'em?" Kaylee asked stealing a glance at Jayne.

"Wouldn't surprise me. Those two have been at each other's throats since the day she was released from that capsule." Inara said

Kaylee nodded and laughed; "That's for sure." she thought for a moment; "Go talk to Jayne… I got an idea." she said slinking back to go to River's room again.

Inara walked over to where Jayne was and smiled genuinely at the merc; "So Jayne." she started.

"Yeah what's up Nara?" Jayne asked

"How long has this thing between you and River been going on?" Inara asked in a quiet voice.

The hairs on Jayne's neck stuck up; "I dunno what in the gorram hell you're talkin' bout Nara."

"Uh huh." Inara said disbelievingly.

"Gorramit, you women figure out everything don't you?" Jayne asked

Inara just smiled; "But what I am curious about, is why would you try to hide it?"

"Didn't wanna meet face to face with that gorram air lock again." Jayne mumbled.

"Well, from what Kaylee told me, she'd rather you announce that you're a couple." Inara said.

Jayne grumbled uncomfortably, he loves Inara and Kaylee to death but sometimes he just wishes they would mind their own business.

Pretty soon, Kaylee came in with River in tow, but when she knew what was going on, she began to try to back track.

"No! Crowd of revelations contradicts! Contradicts the truth of reality! Can't go! Can't go!" River cried backing into a corner.

"Riv, c'mon. It's ok. Trust me." Kaylee said holding her hand out for the youngest Tam.

"She wants to trust. Wants but cant. He can't bare truth therefore I can't bare truth." River said in a mousy shriek.

Jayne wanted to make her calm down, he hated seeing her like this. He could care less what everyone thought of the Jayne and River relationship, it was his little woman that mattered.

By the time Jayne had mustered up the courage, The doc was trying to rain on his parade. "Mei- Mei, listen to me." Simon whispered.

"No Simon! It wont make a difference!" River fought back.

"What wont make a difference Mei-Mei?" Simon asked.

River was silenced for a moment to listen to the thoughts of everyone else. Jayne used that moment to go over to his girl.

He offered his hand and River beamed up at him gratefully; "Does the crowd bother Jayne anymore?" she asked.

"Not anymore." Jayne said as River slipped her slender hand into his.

"R-River?" Simon asked in shock as just as everyone else was(minus Kaylee and Inara who were grinning.)

"Anyone else confused, please say I!" Wash chorused in, Zoë had to bring Jasmine into another room when River started ranting, the last thing they need is for a 2 week old child to be screaming on top of an insane girl.

"Inara, aren't you curious about this too?" Mal asked his wife.

"Don't have to be Mal. I already know, so does Kaylee." Inara said

"Sure did. We set this whole thing up. See… we knew that River would go on a rant if we brought her out 'ere" Kaylee started

"And we knew that Jayne would have to help calm her down if she did." Inara said

"How did you two know?" Simon asked

"Lil things." Kaylee grinned

"Eye contacts from across the room, Little gestures. It made no sense until Kaylee told me about River's behavior and what I got from Jayne myself." Inara said

"And you testify to all of this Jayne?" Simon asked "You are in love with my sister."

Jayne looked over at River, she looked up at him and smiled sweetly. He didn't normally worry about all this mushy stuff, but he really felt different with River; "Well yeah, I guess I am doc."

"Mei-Mei, are you sure this is what you want?" Simon asked

"You really are such a boob" River said shaking her head; "All she wanted was to be seen as someone who isn't frowned upon or be looked at for who she isn't trying to be." she paused and kissed Jayne's cheek; "And now she is."

"Well 'aint this a shiny Shindig!" Kaylee grinned, breaking the total silence.

From then on, everyone learnt to respect Jayne and River's relationship just as they accepted River-even on her bad days. Everyone apart of the Serenity's crew were family, however incredibly dysfunctional they may all be from time to time, they all had each other to fall back on.

**Well, I really hope everyone enjoyed this little read. I will try to post a Prequel to the Pre-Rayne games that led to Rayne, that's if anyone is interested. Once again I say, first Firefly story, please no flames.**


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